Being a tortoise, I find it quite hard to earn a crust. Not that I want a crust, last time that happened was when somebody mistook me for a steak and kidney pie! Anyway, I suffer from a condition which is a bit like SAD and I tend to hibernate in the Winter months, which means I need donations to help pay for my rent, and food for when I am awake. You see, thesedays I just cannot keep up with inflation - it makes my old legs hurt.

So, if you would like to donate 50p or whatever you feel fit, then I promise to be a good tortoise. In return, I promise to give back some of my special positive karma by bringing you luck or helping you in whatever way I can - be it winning the lottery, having a baby or simply helping your favourite football team win the Cup!

Go on, give it a try!

Lots of love,

Humphrey xxx